for the love of His people {Agape II}

“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Mission exists because worship doesn’t. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of the redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.” John Piper

It was a rainy weekend. Rainy weekends are very close to being my favorite kinds weekends. The main reason being there is nothing to do. No school or responsibilities, so sleeping in is accepted, right??

It seems like the Summer is so far away right now. I feel like it will never be May 23rd. Why is May 23rd so significant you ask? Only because i’ll be getting on a plane and leaving the United States for about 8 weeks. It’s been a long journey waiting to hear where God is calling me this Summer, but a few weeks ago He made it very evident. I signed up in November to be on the Refuge missions team. It is unlikely for a Freshman to go on an all summer mission trip only because we are so young and most freshman haven’t been overseas or they just have too much on their plate since it’s the first year of college etc. Not knowing what my chances were to make it, I decided that if I did get accepted it was God’s way of letting me know that this was His will. I turned in my 2000+ word application/essay about me and hoped for the best. I was supposed to find out if I made it or not by mid December. Due to some internal issues with leaders and what not, the date was pushed back. This, as you can imagine, was very troublesome to me. I was beginning to think that God didn’t want me to go, or it just wasn’t my time. Not only was the date being pushed back, but the trip {Bolivia} I signed up to go to was not looking so good. There wasn’t a for-sure leader for the male team, there was conflict with churches over there, and many other issues. I knew the God was telling me no at this point and I was okay with that because I trust His plan. But when I found out for sure that Bolivia was not happening, I was not peace and no where near the point of being okay with it. I realized that maybe this was me being selfish and God is wanting me to stay in the States for the Summer. I began to pray that God would show me what He wants and that I stay out of it {as in let Him guide me}.

I realized that I had limited God from the first place. When I signed up for Bolivia, I said I’m either going to BOLIVIA {no where else} or I AM staying here and working. What if Bolivia wasn’t where God wanted me, what if that was my selfish decision. You may think someone is being unselfish by wanting to serve God for a whole summer overseas, but even though I had good intentions I was being completely selfish. I wanted to serve God because I love His people and being overseas has a huge place in my heart. I wasn’t wanting to go to glorify His name but rather I was going to serve His people. There is a fine line, and I had crossed it. I broke down at the point I realized I had given God an ultimatum.

In the beginning of the application process, the teams were required to write down three location preferences in case the first one didn’t work out. My three choices were 1) Bolivia 2) Prague 3) China. But I never really thought why I put down my second or third choice, because I was positive I would be going to Bolivia if I got accepted. I look back at it now, and I know for a fact God was writing those choices down. He knew that there was a lesson I needed to learn with my selfishness and that in the end I would be going with my unfamiliar second choice.

Everything is coming together. It’s amazing to see God’s plan actually play out and think back and remember situations that have led up to this point. I can’t wait to get on a plane with the team and fly overseas to an unfamiliar place to serve unfamiliar people for a God that loves all. I am going into this with zero expectations except for God to move in the hearts of the Prague college students and for his name to be ultimately glorified in it all.

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” Isaiah 6:8

I ask only one thing from you guys and one thing only. Pray. Please pray. Pray that God will soften the hearts of the students we will be staying with and hanging out with. Pray for the teams safety. Pray that team will work together for God’s glory. Just pray.

If you have any questions about the trip, my heart for missions, or why I feel it’s life changing to go overseas ANYTHING, please comment or email me! I am more than willing to share this passion with you.

that’s agape

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