Klutz of the week..

And the award goes to..

Drum roll please..

The one and only Kristen Blake.

I can remember it like it was yesterday..well 3 days ago. Monday morning, my longest day I go to school from 11:30 – 5:30 straight. I’m a zombie student by 4:30..Klutzsy things are EXPECTED to happen.  It was Art 1011 and the lesson that day was on INDIA INK, I soon realized it would be my favorite medium. So graceful and elegant, it was the swan and I was the ugly duckling. Eh kind of? As soon I walked in, I realized today wasn’t the best day to wear my 1990s high-waist goodwill white denim shorts. But hey I bought them for a dollar specifically for art, so who cares if I spill ink on them! I announced to the class “I have a feeling today was the wrong day to wear white!” They shrugged it off with laughs here and there but little did they know I’d be the clumsy Godzilla to the little Japanese town. I walked over to the sink to put about an inch of water in my cup..and then mixed it with a half-inch of black ink. I casually strolled back to my station and as I am moving the cup towards the wooden table BAM! With such a graceful and swift motion the cup flops on its side and I watch the lake of ink spill alllll over those wonderful [once] white sheets of paper. I heard three gasps of the feminine sort and I let the laughter roll out. Was I surprised that just happened to me?? HECK no! Was the professor surprised that happened to me?? Eh maybe but her reaction was a HECK no! So I skipped out of the classroom door headed towards the bathroom to use enough paper towels to drive the “green” team absolutely mad. Three trips later that ink was long gone.. along with my pride.

That was only Monday I have a whole weeks worth.

So Tuesday. I’m walking from my dorm to the dorm next door so I can meet up with Alexandra for a late night workout. I was walking near the bikes racks which are separated from the parking lot by bushes and many crape myrtles. I look up from texting Alexandra to see a familiar face behind all those trees and bushes. I began to smile-the biggest smile I could manage. I start to crouch down like a lion so I can get a peek through the holes of the branches just so I can make sure that the person I’m seeing is the person I think it is. Because I mean how totally embarrassing that would that be if it weren’t him! Like O.M.G! After looking like a totally creeper, I was positive it was Brandon. As I am smiling..no.. more like having my mouth wide open stretched across my face, the guy looks up at me and begins to mimic the same smile. At that point I was positive it was Brandon! UNTIL he starts looking around as if “Is she looking at me? Do I know her??” and the closer I got I quickly realize “Crap, crap, crap..that’s not Brandon.. That’s not him at all!” I scurry in my mind what to do…what do I resort to? I act like I’m talking on the phone and nervously giggle. Of course that’s my reaction.

Almost as embarrassing as this is..

Then today..

I wore my free purple tie-dye shirt and neon colored Nike shorts today. I felt pretty peppy when I woke up..so why not show it in my choice of dress? But hmm what shoes should I wear? Of course my favorite pair of flip-flops! I begin strolling so casually on the sidewalk just enjoying the crisp air and warm rays of sunshine, that’s when tragedy struck. I see a guy I know. So being the girl I am, I say “Hi” in the most gently spoke voice I’ve ever heard come out of these lips at 12:45 in the afternoon. I give a sweet wave and as we are passing my lovely hunk of a toe decides to take a bite out of the cement. Not just a nibble. NO it stuffed its face. A nice chunk of flesh was left on that concrete. But do I freak out?? No sir! I squeal a little “Ow!” and giggle it off. But in my mind I was cursing that deformed slab of concrete so badly I could have made sailors blush. Not really..but you get the idea. I looked down and saw a lovely crimson tide coming from the tip of my toe. I shrugged it off for moment and begin to try my hardest to walk normal. As I focused on walking normal with my right foot, my left foot decides its hungry too! Well how convenient for a left-over vanilla soft serve ice cream cone to be lying right in its path. With both feet covered in blood and vanilla liquid, I quickly came to the conclusion flip-flops were not exactly the right choice, perhaps steel toe boots next time.

Here’s a mental playlist that has been on repeat for a few days now!

goodnight, all

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2 thoughts on “Klutz of the week..

  1. I think i just peed my pants……only cuz i know you oh so well…..my eyes are watering…..too funny!!! Sorry for your toes, sis!!

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