Second week of school, CHECK. I am excited to be able to go home and just be in a comfortable spot. Not that I am uncomfortable here, that’s not the case at all..its just comforting to know I can finally have a bubble bath and home cooked meals. I am also excited for not having to be fully dressed every time I go to the bathroom. Little things like that are what I miss. I wanted to update my blog for many reasons. I hate seeming like this blog has been forgotten. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I love my blog and sharing what i’m going through but it can be overwhelming to update often because of school and other circumstances.
I am happy here, I feel at peace choosing LSU. It’s not massively overwhelming like everyone professed it to be. All of my classes are small except my Art History, which consists of 300 something students. You can bet on me being in the front row each class…yes i’m that person that sits right in front of the teacher haha I don’t see the problem:) I am trying to “reboot” my mind from high school. Being a honor student and making lower grades here just doesn’t mix. One of the hardest things for me is realizing that these professors haven’t known me for 13 years. This is HCA anymore. I can call them by their first name, but I can’t text them with questions or concerns. I have to make appointments, as if they are doctors. I find that concept very interesting.
This week has been an emotional wreck for me. My Art 1847 class is one of the hardest classes i’ve ever taken..yes even harder than Physics. For example, on the 3rd day of class we had an assignment to turn in. I spent about 45 minutes the night before perfecting it. It was very simple.. all we had to do was draw two outlines of objects..that’s it. But leave it to me to completely warp those instructions. I was so proud going into class with my drawings..until I realized mine looked completely different from everyone else’s work. I drew one object on each page with charcoal as my medium. Looking at the fat “C” on my paper, I realized that it was supposed to be multiple outlines of objects done in pencil. I was furious at myself. As if that wasn’t enough humiliation, at the end of class as were packing up our obnoxiously huge drawing pads, I turned to closely to the setup of wine bottles and watched one fall to the ground and shatter. At that point I was finished. “Do not cry in ART class” is the command that kept replaying in my mind. I did NOT want to be known as the girl that cried in freaking art class. I find it mind boggling that I can operate a $3500 camera completely manually but yet given a pencil and paper.. i’m completely lost. I can barely draw stick figures. Each time I go in that class the feeling of wanting to crawl under a rock and sulk overwhelms me. I feel like i’m doing alright for me but the professor obviously doesn’t think so..but ya know what? I’m going to push through and better myself. I know its just a drawing class, I mean how hard can it be?! It’s hard TRUST ME. I want to learn and I want to better myself but the connection from my eyes to my hands has been completely cut off. I see an object and I think “simple!”..but my hands say “aaahhh no!”.
Anyways i’m rambling now..and my stomach is growling quite loudly, so i’m off to lunch!